So sad

Tonight is the prayer service. P's girls, 8 & 11, wrote letters to their Daddy. Someone is going to read them for them. I don't think there will be enough kleenex to take in all the tears. Bracing myself and asking God to help those little ones tonight and in the days ahead.

Unbelievable

We are reeling here on the prairie... my hubby's brother was killed Friday afternoon in a tragic farm accident. He is employed by a group of brothers who farm. He was atop a metal grain bin guiding a young..and I do mean young..man who was backing a tractor hooked to a grain auger up to the open bin top. Horrifically he was knocked off and killed in the fall. He leaves a wife, 2 grade school age girls, a lot of livestock and a small farm. He was 42.

To say we are in shock is understatement. Pray for both families please. This is a small community and people are turning out in droves with assistance. The farm work was more than the 2 of them as a couple could do a lot of days with them working full time. Hubby has been there everyday. So much to do. His own father told him last night that he can't continue to do this. He has a job of his own. Oh Lord, please be near for them all in the days ahead.

Wedneday

Preparing for all my kids to come home. We are blessed to have everyone here this year. Last year it was just #3. My brother S and DH sister C will also be at dinner. Hoping to wrangle everyone into a family picture to send out in Christmas cards.

My swelling and bruising was enough to make my hubby do the horse and dog and cat chores this morning. I feel fine, it's just gross looking. Apparently DH thought I shouldn't have to do chores. That's ok by me for a day or two!

I wish everyone a blessed Thanksgiving. May we all count our blessings and be grateful today and everyday.

Truely Thankful

And today especially... I am truly thankful. No cancer present..thanks be to God. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

Waiting

Oh yesterday was fun...or not. I had an appointment for 8:30 am. I was on time. They were not. I was to be in radiology at 9:30. I was not. At 10:30 I was taken to have another ultrasound and have a wire placed to pinpoint the spot. Umm yeah..not fun. One hour and fifteen minutes later I had been poked, prodded, another set of mammograms with said wire protruding 6 inches from my chest, a radiologist who seemed befuddled, who asked the surgeon to come take a look, who declared it good enough, and I was off to surgery.

I was out for the biopsy and awakened sobbing. Like my hair was wet from all my tears. Apparently my blood pressure shot up over 200. I was given Demerol. Was out again and then when they finished I was sent back to my same day surgery room. DD was called. One of my dear school friends was working the ward and came to see me. That was a plus. As A and I were waiting for the surgeon, I explained why I was there. I felt like I was getting wet and looked at my waist..blood was running everywhere. Called the nurse. When they answered the call button I got 2 of them. Apparently I was bleeding withing my breast and was very swollen and hard. Guess who walks in? Dr. Who takes one look and says, " You're going back upstairs." So they could clean it out and stop the bleeding. Well woohoo!

After surgery #2 Vonnie was very sleepy. I got to leave around 5 pm and went to A's and slept for an hour and a half. Drove home after getting a few groceries. I have not needed to take any medicine for pain but I am swollen something awful today. Thinking ibuprofen wouldn't be a bad idea. I am waiting for the Dr office to call with a pathology report.

On the plus side I got alot of prayer time in yesterday. Was smart enough to do the Wal*art run before I went to the hospital. Ya know, maybe I should do all my Wal*art shopping at that time..no crowds!

I was wrong

Yeah,I was misinformed. The hospital called and "walked" me through my day. There is no general anesthesia. Um, yep Mo that puts me where you were. Ow.

I did ask A to pick me up at the hospital. She will be done with classes by the time I'm ready to leave. I have not explained why I'm going to be there and she hasn't asked yet. Ya know, I just hope that it all turns out ok. I will tell the girls,( daughter in laws and A) about it one way or the other. Explain that it's important to have things checked out, especially abnormal things. I just need to process this first.

So off to a biopsy I go...on Monday. My bestie was going to go and drive me home. I am so lucky..I get to have general anesthesia. Anywho I set the time up for her convenience and now she can't go. Bummer. Broken tooth and of course the only opening the dentist has is during the time I am to be 60 miles another direction. She'd have to wait until Dec to get in. Go, I say and take the appointment.

What to do, what to do? I have not told my kids. Why worry anyone yet? Our #2 son and wife and DD live where I am being admitted. I could ask one of the kids if they'd pick me up and take me to their home to recoup until I can drive. But if I ask there will be a chain of phone calls amongst them.. DD A does not need the stress. Nursing classes and clinicals are consuming her time. Add in a monstrous roommate feud, student senate, choir, work study, and her plate is full. I don't want her worrying on top of it. DH is very busy and working 14-16 hr days trying to get the crops harvested. He has no benefits so taking time off means no money. I have had several procedures done in the past and have always had to rely on friends or other family. My sister in law, who has helped in the past, is now an ex SIL...way awkward situation. My sister and I are not that close..she'd never take the time from her daycare business to do it. Anywho...

I will suck it up and ask for help ...again...thinking positive thoughts..